In a week it is exactly one year ago that I arrived in South-Africa. With two suitcases and a wish to stay. And here we are. A year down the line. I find myself living in a small village in the Klein Karoo. A semi-desert area in the Western Cape. I am loving it!
It hasn’t been easy. Certainly not. I have been confronted with myself. A lot. More than I thought I needed. The biggest lesson is that I accepted the situations I found myself in. Most of the time. I went through phases in which my only security in life was my love for Mark. That this love was so strong that I knew I had to go through the pain, frustration and sadness that entered my world.
Accepting those difficulties. Seeing them as a reflection of my pain-body, as Tolle describes them. And there were quite a few. I have to admit. And there were a lot of moments in which I couldn’t understand that I didn’t fully enjoy my time in South-Africa. That I wasn’t feeling ‘on top of the world’. That I didn’t see myself as the amazing, vibrant lady who changed her life from city girl to country girl so beautifully. I suffered from other people’s opinions. What does a well-educated, ambitious woman like you do in the middle of nowhere? Isn’t that a waste of your talent and capabilities? Shouldn’t you be changing the world? Questions that often crossed my mind. But I decided to stay. To face those questions. Because who were they from? Why did they come to mind? What was it they had to tell me?
I can’t tell you how much my soulmate-friendship with Nicole has meant to me in those periods (and still does). How happy I was with technology of staying in touch with friends and family via whatsapp. And how grateful I am for the love in my life, who went with me through most of my stages of frustration, sadness and pain. How he stood by my side. How he looked into the mirror to see his own behaviour. How we grew and still grow into our love. And acknowledge that we both have our own path in life to walk. To let go and be connected in freedom.
Last week I spoke to my brother on the phone. I realised that my trip to the Netherlands was a bit too short to fit everything in. Well, to fit in even the most important things, I have to say. And I decided to change my flight. From the 6th of June to the 3rd of June. I danced through the room after the change. I felt so excited! Not an obligatory trip to Holland for the sake of extending my visa. No, a trip because I want to spend time there!
And you know what? I did exactly the same thing a year ago. My flight to South-Africa was scheduled for the 6th of June, but I could no longer wait. I so wanted to be with Mark that I decided to change my flight. And guess what? Yep! I changed it to the 3rd of June. How is that for going full circle! I so love my life! And my man, of course, as it was because of him that I jumped into this life-enriching adventure ❤️.